Author: Um... yes for those of you idiot who actually go to fanfiction.net, you
may know that this fic is one  I made a long time ago. I used the author name
sorcerer and I would have moved the fic to my new author name but I forgot my
password. I have been in the mood of redoing my old fics lately so I am sending
them to Ping to put on the website. Anyhow this is a cross over fic of Tenchi
Muyo and Final Fantasy 7.

Disclaimer: A hybrid of a mermaid, a alicorn, and a kitten walks on stage. She
had the top part of a women although she was covered in fur and had a horn, she
also had a fish tail and wings. “Hello, there I’m Telinaca. This is not part of
the show but I have to say the declaimer, well I don’t have to do it. I am doing
it because Gryphon said he would tell me how to obtain the apocalypse stone if I
did. So here we go, Gryphon dose not own any of the games, book, anime,
cartoons, or mooses mentioned in this fanfic. He is also not getting paid for
doing it so it would be very very helpful if you did not sue him.” She looked
around to see if Gryphon was around to tell her about the stone but then she
remembered something. “Oh yes, I am suppose to be the narrator for the fic and
give the ending statement. Allright then just let me fix my hair and I will
start the fic.” Telinaca flops off on her fish tail. “There better be a pool of
water for me to relax in while I do this fanfic.”

	Telinaca lowers herself into a cozy little pool and starts to read the
narration. We find Tenchi and his gang of east side cronies croozing around the
universe in Ryo-Ohki. “Meow!”
	Washu who is dressed in thug clothing and atire says, “Yo dog Ryo-Ohki, what ya
talkin bout?”
	Aeka gives a miffed look to Washu, “What the hell are you talking about? Washu
don’t you understand what Ryo-Ohki is saying?”
	Washu crosses her arm and say, “Of course bee-otch. My dog Ryo-Ohki is sayin
dat der bein bitchen digs dat way.”
	Everyone looks at Washu a little confused. Mihoshi being a blond moron says,
“Wait a mement, Ryo-Ohki is a dog?”
	Aeka turned red, “And did you just call me a bitch?”
	“Sup yo,” Washu said.
	Tenchi shakes his head a little then said, “Washu will you please stop talking
like that?”
	Washu give a big smile, “Ok Tenchi darling. I was saying the Ryo-Ohki says that
there are some carrots on that near by planet.”
	Aeka turns a bit redder, “I don’t care if you smell carets where not landing
there!”
	“Meow!” Ryo-Ohki starts turning to the planet.
	Sasami being her cute self says, “Come on Aeka. If we land then we can have our
picnic.”
	Aeka crosses her arm crossly and says, “Fine, it’s allright with me as long as
every one else thinks so.”
	Tenchi being his usual stupid clueless self says, “It’s allright with me.”
	Mayuka, who is Tenchi’s clone daughter from one of the movies, gives Tenchi a
hug and says, “If it’s ok with my daddy then it’s allright with me.”
	Mihoshi clapped her hands together, “Yeah! Lunch!”
	Ryoko who was still trying not to laugh at Washu calling Aeka a bitch said,
“Yeah, I’m starving.”
	Mihoshi who was shaking her head at Mihoshi’s stupidity as always says, “Yes
lunch would be fine by me.”
	Aeka looked to Washu, “And you?”
	“Dat would be bitchen dog,” Washu said with a cute smile.
	“Washu!” Tenchi said a little peeved.
	Washu give a smile, “Allright my little ginney pig.”
	The group head off to the planet, meanwhile on the planet. Oh and for those of
you who do not know a mean while is worse then a nice while but not as bad as a
preppie while. Anyhow Caitsigh and Red 13 are standing around on a big field
when Caitsith notices something. “Hay red? Is that another meteor?”
	Red 13 shakes his head, “No it’s an airship.”
	Caitsith takes out his megaphone and yells into it toward the ship, “HAY! LAND
OVER HERE!!!!
	Red 13 trying to stop his ears from ringing says, “What are you doing?”
	Caitsith turned to Red 13 and says with the megaphone still infront of his
mouth, “I’M ASKING THEM TO LAND HERE, DUH!”
	Red 13 trying to shake the ringing out of his ears says, “If you well in my ear
one more time, with your stupid microphone. I will turn you off. Ok?”
	Caitsith looks down to the ground with a sad sigh, “Sorry I wont don it again.”
	Ryo-Ohki lands near Casmo Canyon with a meow. He then drops everyone on the
ground with a thud. “Meow!” Following his nose like Tookan Sam he runs as fast
as he could to Cid’s garden.
	Cid runs out of his house with a hoe in his hands, and no it’s not that kind of
hoe. He had a garden tool hoe, you sick perves. Anyhow he can out yelling
profanity that would have blown up his garden if he was in Xanth. “Hay get out
of my &%*&* garden you %^#^ rabbit or cat or what ever the $$#@ you are!”
	Ryo-Ohki with a cute tilt of her ears says, “Meow.” For those of you who were
wondering this seen took fifteen takes because Ryo-Ohki kept of messing up her
lines.
	Then Sasami who luckily missed the profanity walks up to Ryo-Ohki, “Ryo-Ohki!
There you are. You should not run off like that especially on strange planets.”
She picks up Ryo-Ohki and gives her a half loving half angry pat on the head.
	Cid going a pit red in the face says, “Get your %$^#% thing out of my %^#^
garden!”
	Sasami takes hold of her ears and yells, “Ow! My vergion ears! Stop it!” Um...
don’t ask me I could have sworn myself that Ryoko had sworn infront of Sasami
before but evidently not. Well anyhow Sasami’s ears turn red and a couple of
tears fall from her eyes.
	Cid looking very confused says, “Oh I’m sorry kid I did not know your ears
would burn if I said #%#@.” Sasami gives another scream of pain. “Oh #%#^ I’m
#%^& sorry kid how can I help?”
	Sasami looks up to him and says, “Stop $^%^ swearing!”
	“CUT!!!!!!” Gryphon appears on the scene with a script in his hands. “What the
heck was that Sasami? You know that’s not the line!”
	Sasami looked to the ground a little sad, “I’m sorry Gryphon. I was getting
tired of screaming my head off because this guy is swearing his head off.”
	Gryphon gave a sigh, “Allright then.” He takes out a pen and edits the scripts.
“Ok here, well start from Cid’s last line after that he wont swear anymore.”
	Cid looks to Gryphon, “The $^&@ I wont.”
	Gryphon gives another sigh, “Fine you wont swear when Sasami is around. Ok?”
Cid and Sasami nod with smile. “Ok, now Action!”
	Sasami looks up to Cid, he eyes cleared a little. “Well you could stop
swearing! It makes my ears hurt!”
	Cid looking dumbfounded says, “Oh yes of course. Is there anything else?”
	Sasami gives a cute smile, “You could let Ryo-Ohki have a carrot.”
	“Of course,” He pulls a big carrot and hands it to Ryo-Ohki. “And I’m really
sorry.” 
	Ryo-Ohki takes the Carrot. “Meow,” it meowed very happily.
	“Thank you Mr,” Sasami says cutely. Then Ryo-Ohki and Sasami start to walk back
to the group.
	Cid starts to work on his garden some more. “That %^#* kid and rabbit thing
better stay out of my garden. Doctors orders, I’m suppose to be $@%% relaxing.”
	Meanwhile Yuffie meets up with Red 13, Caitsith, Ryoko, Tenchi, Mayuka, Aeka,
Washu, Mihoshi, and Kiyone to discuss what happen to the ship i.e. Ryo-Ohki.
	Aeka being in her usual bitchey mood says, “I’m telling you Ryoko’s cabbit who
Washu created Ryo-Oki is able to turn into a ship at will.”
	“Then were is it?” Red 13 asked coolly.
	Mihoshi being her usual stupid dumb blond self says, “He went to find carets.”
Yuffie sneaks behind Ryoko and takes her gems, “Why hello. Hello What have we
here?”
	Ryoko takes Yuffie by the neck and yells, “Give me back my gems! You little
brat?”
	Yuffie looks down to the gems in her hand, “Gem? There not materia?”
	Washu gives a smile, “Yes they are gems. I still have not figured out there
origin, but I know they are very powerful equal if not greater then the power of
the lighthawk. They have been around even before I was a kid, how ever many
thousand years ago that was. In any event they had been the bases of almost all
of my research that is until I created Ryoko and gave them to her.” Everyone but
Yuffie, Washu and of course myself fell asleep. 
	“Hmmm. There really that powerful huh?” She walks over to Caitsith and puts the
gems in the materia slots. “Let’s see if they will work in place of materia.”
She gave her lips a lick then took the megaphone up to her mouth. She yells into
to very loudly, “I INVOKE GEMS!!!” The megaphone starts to glow then blows up a
really big crater appears in the ground and everyone is covered with crud and
fully awake.
	Mihoshi give a hug smile, “Yeah that was fun!”
	Yuffie looking the worst of the group hands Ryoko her gems back. “Yep they work
great.” She then callapses on the ground. 
	Ryoko put her gems back on her arms, “That’ll teach her.”
	Sasami runs up to Tenchi and gives him a big hug, “Are you ok Tenchi?”
	Tenchi although covered with junk smiles and says, “Yes I am fine Sasami. Did
you and Ryo-Ohki find a carrot?”
	“Meow!”
	“That’s good,” Tenchi says boringly. 
	Mayuka tugs Tenchi’s sleeves, “Daddy? What’s that?” She pointed to a airship
shaped object in the sky.
	“I don’t know, it looks like a ship. What do you think Washu?”
	Washu looks up enthusiastically and says, “Wow! It looks like one of the old
air ships of legions. They were used a long time ago when travel was limited to
a planet. We should get it to land.”
	Mihoshi claps her hands, “Maybe there are some cute guys on the ship.”
	Washu takes a signal flair out from no where and launches it into the sky.
Meanwhile on the Highwind cloud says heroically, “A signal flair we should
land.”
	Berret says madly, “Damnit Cloud why do you to decide where we get to go?”
	Cloud gives a smirk, “Because I’m the leader.”
	“How about we take a vote?” Berret says painfully crossing his arm.
	Cloud smile, “Allright, I vote to land.”
	Tifa giving Cloud a hug says, “So do I.”
	“What about you Vincent?”
	Vincent who was standing dead in the corner says, “I don’t care.”
	Cloud gives a huge nearly evil smirk, “2 to 1 we land.”
	“$*%!,” Berret swears.
	One the ground Washu had dusted all the soot off herself and said happily
almost mimicking Mihoshi, “Yeah! There landing!”
	The Highwind lands and cloud and his possey come out. Mayuka being her cute
clone self waves, “Hello.”
	Cloud standing in a heroic stance says, “Hello. I have come to save you from
what ever peril you have signaled us for.”
	Washu give a sinisterly childish grin, “There is no real danger, but may
Mihoshi and I examine your ship?”
	“Oh but I wanted to check out the guys,” She said almost in a sickining
cheerleader fashion.
	Tifa who was raped around Cloud said, “Um... This guy is mine. But Vincent is
still on the ship if you want to check him out.”
	Mihoshi dumbly claps her hands, “Yeah. Lets hope he’s cute.” She takes Washu’s
hand and runs onto the ship with her.
	Sasami being very cute as usual says, “Would you like to join us for lunch?”
	Berret flexes his muscles pointlessly and says, “Yeah! I’m starvin!”
	“Shouldn’t we vote?” Cloud says sarcastically.
	“Shut up Cloud!” Berret launches a couple of bullets into the air
threateningly.
	“Oh fine,” Cloud said with a sigh.
	“Then lets get started,” Kiyone said for like the first time in this fic
talking. It’s kind of hard to give Kiyone a lot of lines because well she is
just there while everyone else is there and have a distinct personality. 
	Yuffie wakes up finally and help to set up the picnic when they were finally
ready Cid walks up to the group with a basket of carrots in his hands, “I just
wanted to say... What the %^*& is the Highwind doing here!?!”
	Sasami give an innocent scream of pain from hearing another swear word.
	“Oh I’m sorry,” Cid says. “I came to give you these carrots as my apology.”
	Sasami takes her hands off her ears and takes the carrots, “Thank you Mr....”
	“Cid”
	“Thank you Mr.Cid, Ryo-Ohki will certainly like them,” Sasami said placing the
basket on the picnic blanket.
	“Meow!,” Ryo-Ohki meowed.
	Cid looked to Cloud with a semi mad look, “What is the Highwind doing here?”
	“Where having lunch,” cloud said innocently.
	Cid gives a deep sigh and says, “Make sure nothing happens to it. Ok?”
	Cloud gives a nod, not able to talk because he has a rice ball in his mouth.
	From inside the ship Washu yells, “No don’t press that!”
	BOOOOOOOOOOOO (gasp) OOOOOOOOOOM! for those of you who did not guess Mihoshi
pressed a wrong button and blew up the highwind revealing Washu, Mihoshi, and
Vincent covered in soot once again.
	“Ooops,” Mihoshi laughs moronically.
	“#$%*! I’m going to kill you Cloud!,” Cid said turning blood red. 
	Cloud turned pail as a ghost, “Oh, man Cid I am so sorry.”
	“No #^*@ nos Cloud! I’m gona kill you!” Cid pulls out his giant spear and ran
at cloud. Cloud started to run away like a coward, Tiffa, Yuffie, and Berret ran
after Cid.
	Yuffie giving a little giggle says, “Be careful Cloud!”
	“Cid! If you hurt of kill Cloud I’ll kill you!” Tiffa yelled.
	Berret being a bit dumb gives a chuckle. “This is going to be good!”
	“I can fix it,” Washu said after finally recovering.
	Vincent shakes his head, “Don’t worry I never liked that thing anyway.”
	Caitsith starts to laugh his head off until Red 13 changes the subject, “Anyone
want the last cookie before I take it?”
	Sasami turns all bright eyed, “Wow a talking dog.”
	Red 13 says nicely, “I am not a dog.”
	Sasami a little confused asked, “Then what are you?”
	“A pest,” Caitsith says sarcastically.
	“I’m getting sick of you cat,” Red 13 says with an angry sigh.
	“And what are you going to do about it?” 
	Red 13 walks behind Caitsith and opens his power box. “I’ll do this,” Red 13
said. Then he turned Caitsith off.
	“Um, I think we should go,” Tenchi said looking more confused then usual.
	Red 13 gave a smile, “This was fun. You guys should come over again.”
	“Yeah, but right now lets go home.” Mayuka said in her cute little clone way.
	Everyone piles onto Ryo-Ohki, then they remember that the cabit had not changed
form yet. So they got off of her, then Ryo-Ohki changed form and everyone
excluding Red 13, Vincent and Caitsith entered.

	“What the heck? That was stupid, funny and boring all at once! I mean seriously
who came up with that ending it sucked!” Telinaca folded her wings then came to
a realization, “Oh ya the ending statement.” She clears her throught and starts,
“ The author would like to apologize about how crapy this fic is, he would also
like to apologize to anyone who may now have mental disorders due to this fic.
He would also like to thank Block Buster for without whom he would have spelled
Mayuka’s name horribly wrong.” She looks around, “Is that it?”
	Gryphon gets off his computer/ directors chair, “Yep.” He takes a black syth
shaped stone out of his pocket. “And here is the apocalypse stone.”
	Telinaca takes the stone in her hands and almost crys. “Finally the power to
destroy  worlds is in my hand!” She holds the stone up to her nice sized chest,
“I! Invoke the apocalypse stone!” She then blows up in a bloody gooey mess.
	Gryphon laughs menacingly. “Foolish hybrid, everyone knows the apocalypse stone
is actually a suicide stone. Mainly because everyone forgets what world is
suppose to be destroyed, so the stone just destroys its holders world.” He then
looks to the screen remembers the fic was still going, “Oh um... ya you can go
now I am just going to clean up here and fade to black. Yes I know that fic
sucked in comparison to such classics as Trunksbrief but what do you expect I
was bored and this is just a rewrite of my very first fic ever.” He then starts
to clean up the bloody mess and the scene fades to black.
	
			It’s finally $%#* ended.