Why everyone believe's Cloud's insane
Narrator- After all that happened in Cloud's life; running away from SOLDIER, beating monsters, stopping a meteor, killing his "idol", and saving the Planet; his life finally slowed down… or so he thought.
Cloud- ::sitting in a chair, reading Popular Mechanics; looks around:: OK, there are no voices in my head, so who's talking?
Narrator- I'm the Narrator, and technically, I AM in your head.
Cloud - ^^/ ::Tifa walks in without his knowledge:: So now whenever I talk to you, people will have me committed.
Tifa- ::trying to hold back tears:: Thanks a lot, Cloud! Now I know how you really feel about me! ::runs out of the room in tears::
Cloud- ::calls after her:: No Tifa! You've got It all wrong! I was talking to the person I'm hearing in my mind! ::runs out of the room after her::
Narrator- *hehehe* Heeeeeeeeey… you know wa? I can make anything that I want happen in this story… ::grins evilly::
* 2 Minutes later *
Narrator- Cloud, still running after Tifa,
Cloud- Wait! Tifa, I- wha, WHOA!
Narrator- trips on the rug and lands face first into Tifa's oversized chest!
Tifa- Oh My God you little Hentai! I'll never be able to look you in the face again! ::runs away::
Cloud- ::gives Narrator the stinkeye, but he just looks dumb b/c the narrator's not real::
Narrator- Just then, Yuffie walks in eating a Hershey bar, which she nearly chokes on when Tifa knocks her down, trying to get away from that little hentai!
Yuffie- GAWD! What's her problem? ::shakes her head and drops the chocolatey Hershey wrapper at Cloud's feet.
Cloud- I could tell you, but you wouldn't believe me.
Yuffie- ::sits down on a bar stool with her head cocked to the left and a wry smile on her face:: Try me.
Cloud- ^^/ Okay. ::takes a deep breath:: WellIwasjustsittingdownstairsreadingmyPopularMechanicsmagazinewhenallofasuddeniheardthisvoiceandithoguhtsomeonehadbrokeninsoIwaslikewhosthereandtheywerelikeimthenarratorandiwaslikeyeahwhateverandapparentlyimtheonlyonethatcanhearthemandTifagotitallwrongcuzisaidsomethingtothenarratorandshethoguhtitwasdirectedathersoshesmadatmeandthenwhenistartedchasingheritrippedontherugwhichreallypuzzledmebecausewedonthaveanyrugsinhereandilandedinheroversizedchestsonowshethinksimhentaiandthenyouwalkedineatinganHersheybarandtoldmetotellyouthestorysoIdid.
Narrator- Cloud's face has turned a pretty shade of purple and he is now keeled over on the ground, breathing heavily.
Yuffie- ::same look on her face:: Um… Ok? I didn't really get any of that, so, um, yeah. I'll go ask Tifa what's wrong, Kay? ::starts to walk away::
Narrator- Cloud grabs her hand and gets down on one knee.
Cloud- Yuffie, we've known each other for a long time, and I think if we juss put all of the stealing behind us, we can make a relationship work. Will you do me the honor of being my bride?
Yuffie- ::pulls hand back, disgusted:: GAWD, Tifa's right, you are a hentai! GAWD I can't believe you just did that! ::turns and runs away::
Narrator- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG that was rich! HooHOO I wanna see that again!
Narrator- Cloud grabs her hand and gets down on one knee.
Cloud- Yuffie, we've known each other for a long time, and I think if we juss put all of the stealing behind us, we can make a relationship work. Will you do me the honor of being my bride?
Yuffie- ::pulls hand back, disgusted:: GAWD, Tifa's right, you are a hentai! GAWD I can't believe you just did that! ::turns and runs away
Cloud- ::furiously looks up to NO ONE:: Ok, what the F**k to you think you are doing to me! You are ruining my relationship with my friends and girlfriend! You are sick, you know that?! SICK SICK SICK!
Narrator- Cloud turns and stalks out the door, only to find his comrades- Barret, Cid, Vincent, and Cait Sith- and the rest of the customers at 7th Heaven Bar staring at him with blank stares.
Cloud- WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!?!?!?!?
Narrator- The bar goes back to its normal self, as Barrett gently pulls Cloud aside into the back room.
Barrett- Now Cloud, I duno what the hell yo prollem is, but I'm sick n tired of hearin' ya'll screamin like Sephiroth's come back ta life. Now if you don juss chill out, I'm gunna call the cops on ya, aiight? ::pats Cloud on the back, and walks back to his barstool::.
Narrator- By now I'm guessing Cloud is very angry at me, and-
Cloud- You got that right!
Narrator- and is now going to shut up until I'm finished speaking! Cloud suddenly has lost his voice! Wow, wonder how that happended. Must have been all that screaming, heheh.
Cloud- ::tries to say something, but his voice is no more::
Narrator- ::smiles:: Now, where was I… oh, yeah. Cloud is very pissed, and now It is time for the real fun to begin! Ok, Now, I'm going to let Cloud have his voice back, being the nice person that I am. And now it is time to reveal my name.
Cloud- ::coughing from getting his voice back:: Yeah, you'd best be doing that quick, so I can find out who you are and KICK YOUR ASS!
Narrator- Hold on, let me summon the rest of your friends, so they can find out the real truth. ::clears throat:: Barrett, Cid, Vincent, Cait Sith, Yuffie, and Tifa all enter the room. Tifa and Yuffie are standing in the far corner, staring at the ground, while Barret has his cell phone in his hand.
Barrett- Cloud, if you be actin' a foo' agin, dis time Ima call the cops!
Narrator- No, you foolish mortals, Cloud is not crazy. Well, technically he is, but that's a different story. However, there is someone behind all of this sick pleasure.
All (except Cloud)- Who is that?
* A Puff of swirling black fog comes in through a window that had suddenly opened. Everyone backs away from the center of the room, where a colum of dark smoke has settled. When It finally starts to lift, they see a figure on one knee, and a familiar sword that they had all come to hate. *
All- SEPHIROTH?!?!?!?!
Cid- ::takes a puff of his ciggie:: I thought we killed you!
Sephiroth- Ha, you guys are so stupid! I am the son of Jenovah! I AM IMMORTAL! Hahahahahahahah! ::crash of thunder, flash of Lighting::
Cloud- ::Pulls out his… his…:: Hey, where's my sword?!
Sephiroth- It's still my story, I can do whatever I want with it!
*Suddenly, a door appears out of nowhere, and six familiar heads pop out *
Tenchi- Washuu, you did it again!
Ryoko- I thoguht you were supposed to be the Greatest Scientific genius!
Aeka- Excuse me, But why don't we just give Miss Washuu andother chance?
Ryoko- Oh, Shut up, Princess!
Aeka- Make me!
* The two brawlers dissappear into the darkness of the time portal *
Sasami- Will those two ever learn?
Mihoshi- Hey, that blonde guy is cute. What's his name? Hi there!
Washuu :: sweat drops appear on her forehead:: Hehe, sorry, I guess I misdirected the portal again, maybe if I took some protons, and spliced the neutrons, I could… ::She shuts the dorr behind her, muttering scientific phrases::
* The gang is just staring at where the portal used to be, while Cloud is bluching like crazy *
Sephiroth- * snaps out of the trance * Hey, people! Now I'm going to finish what I came here to do! ::he raises the Masamune up over his head:: And Tifa's up first!
* Everything is moving in slow motion. Cloud is running over to Tifa, ready to block the deadly blow of Sephiroth's massive sword. Tifa has a silent scream frozen on her face, with her eyes stuck on the flashing sword. Barret and the rest of the gang are readying their weapons for when this crazy slow-motion ends. All of a sudden, a bright white light appears out of nowhere. *